Saturday, March 28, 2009

Managing her money

Mom is currently hysterical about a letter she got from the Bank of America about her CD's. She thinks that she has to do something by a certain date or they will take half the value of her CD's. Of course, this is totally wrong and she is just being irrational.

Her anxiety turned pretty negative last night when she called me demanding that I take her to the bank one day off a week from both Mom and my job responsibilities. I told her that I had things planned all day and could not come out. She told me that it was imperative and that if I didn't take her I shouldn't be the executor of her will. When I refused she said she would just get on the bus...fine....go for it. I rememeber how well that went the last time when I had to retreive her from Northgate Mall. That is when I hung up on her.

I am tired of her bullying behavior. I am tired of her constantly wondering where I am, what I am doing and demanding my presence. She is used to getting her way...Dad gave in to her constantly...but I am not Dad...and I do have a life of my own. I am taking a couple of days off from her.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Birthday photos

Mom's 89th Birthday

Today was Mom's 89th birthday. She wanted to go to the church that Dad and I used to belong to back in the last 1960's and into the 1970's. Naturally, this meant figuring out when the service was being held and figuring out how I could get her into the building in her transport chair.

When I arrived she was dressed to the nines. Camel coat with a fur collar, a 1920's style cloche hat, her new shoes, new skirt, a knit top, and a colorful scarf. She also had her lipstick on and was ready to go.

Luckily, I found parking close to the entrance of the church and got her in via a ramp that lead right up to the chapel. This is the chapel where my brother and his wife were married the first time. The pews were gone and in their place were comfortable cloth chairs. I got Mom situated on the side and slippped into the chair next to her.

The church had obviously changed a lot since I had been a member. There was a combo with drums, a piano, and some kind of African drums playing. Two giant flat screen televisions were mounted on either side of the chapel with big speakers up above.

The service started with singing...three women with microphones lead the singing as the words to the songs were projected onto the screens. This was not the church that I had come to anymore. If felt hipper, more evangelical. The sermon was from Matthew...where the devil tempted Christ three times and he did not go along with it. We ended with communion and more singing. I managed to roll Mom up to the communion table so she could receive the bread and the juice.

Throughout the service I noticed that Mom was crying off and on. I am sure she was thinking about Dad. After the service she spoke briefly to the minister about my Dad and then we left for lunch with Pamela.

Luckily, Pamela arrived early at the restaurant and called me enroute to tell me where to park to make it easy getting Mom inside. She met us and we all made out way into McCormick and Schmick's on Lake Union in Seattle. We got a nice window table and got Mom settled in a regular chair.

We all ordered..Mom had seafood chowder, some of the popcorn shrimp we ordered as an appetizer and fried oysters. Mom opened her presents while we waited for our food. I got her some body powder called Blue Grass from Elizabeth Arden and some perfume and body cream samples. She loved her gifts and was truly surpised.

For dessert she chose a chocolate mousee. I had the creme brulee and Pamela had a small berry cobbler with ice cream. The best part was when the waitress brought Mom's dessert with a birthday candle blazing as we sang her happy birthday.

Afterwards, we drove back to the northend. I went into Safeway to pick up a few things for her and then we went back to her apartment. I looked over her pill minders and discovered that she is using them as storage but not in the way they were intended. I sorted out her daily pills and put them in one of the containers. I told her we would do this every Sunday so she would have an easier time keeping track of her medications.

I hugged Mom goodbye and drove off...six hours later...happy in th knowledge that she had a really good day doing what she wanted to do, eating what she wanted to eat, looking out at the water, and celebrating her birthday.

The last time we were in this restarant was on Easter 2007. Dad was still alive and Mom was having trouble with her eye. The trouble turned out to be shingles. She was admitted to the hospital two days later.

What a wild ride this last couple of years has been.