Distant voices

Mom always tells me important information in the car. The car is not electronically monitored in her version of the world. I was driving her home yesterday when she casually mentioned that she had been walking and talking with her long deceased Mother. I said that must be nice because she has really missed her Mother for the last 54 years. She did not seem comforted by these walks or talks. I think it scares her and tells her that her own death may be soon. I tried to be very supportive and positive about these dreams she is having, but I am not sure that I made much of a dent.

7:30am

That is when the phone rang. Mom acted as if nothing had happened. She denied every mean thing she had said to me the day before.

I am starting to research all aspects of dementia. I believe she has some form of it.
As I write this, I am emotionally exhausted with all of her drama. How much of it is her and how much of it is her physical condition, I have no idea.

I have reached my wall

Mom finally pushed me over the edge today. She and I were not getting along at all on our trip to Sears,the grocery store and lunch. She was being a bully and I was just getting angrier and angrier. I couldn't take it anymore. She finally pushed me over the edge by saying that I was "nutty" and that they never should have taken me out of the "nut bin"' years ago.

I drove her home, got her out of the car and went upstairs to leave her groceries in her kitchen. I went back to the lobby and gave her both of my keys and told her that she was now on her own.

I cannot take her verbal abuse anymore.

My blood pressure was sky high.

I have reached my wall.