Their anniversary

I took Mom and Pamela out to dinner tonight at Anthony's on the waterfront downtown. Mom has been struggling this week with the fact that today was the day that she and Dad got married in 1947. When she mentioned that their anniversary was this week I asked her what she was going to do on the 8th of August. She said she was going to cry all day. Well..that didn't seem like a great way to spend the day, so I suggested we all go out and have a nice meal.

She had a great time...watching all the people out the window and in the restaurant. Mom ate a good meal of Willipa Bay deep fried oysters and fresh peach crumble that we all shared for dessert. As usual, she was dressed to the hilt and looked pretty good. She isn't able to walk much now, so we brought the transport chair to get her in and out of the restaurant and back up to her apartment.

She has lost more weight. I think part of it is poor eating habits and part of it is that it is hard for her to prepare food for herself. I asked her what she had for lunch today and she said "two cookies". I wish I could convince her to go into assisted living, but that is never going to happen.

Pamela and I put a vinyl cover on her mattress when we got her home. She goes to the bathroom at least 3 or 4 times a night now, wears adult diapers, and still worries that she is going to wet the bed. Now she has the vinyl mattress cover, so hopefully she will stop being so worried during the night.

When we left, Mom thanked both of us for a nice evening and said that I had been a good kid all my life. I often don't feel like a good kid with her. I feel angry and overwhelmed and that I am struggling to hang onto some shred of empathy for my Mom and her situation.

I am starting to think Mom has some form of dementia..she told the same story three times tonight. Her short term memory seems a little shaky.

I am doing the best I can.