It is hard to know that these hands raised me, but belong to someone I no longer even like because of her mean and abusive behavior.
Mom's racist comments and other assorted verbal abuse continues. The baby news has stripped away all verbal decorum as she issues stream after stream of negative comments directed at me, my partner and the baby that will soon be a part of my "chosen family".
My Mom has been verbally abusive for my entire life...so it is hard to separate out what is just the usual from what may be linked to any dementia she is experiencing at this point of her life.
After our phone conversation this morning, I just hung up and sat there crying. On the one hand she says that I am "kind and good to her". On the other she makes disparaging remarks about my partner's race, the baby, and my involvement in my own family of choice.
As far as I am concerned the only family I had was my Dad, and he is gone now. I really wish he had survived Mom...because he would be so happy and supportive of the family that Pamela and I are creating.
Unfortunately, I am left caring for a mean, spiteful, negative, depressed Mother with a serious personality disorder. I know this will end one day, but right now it just feels like an oppressive weight on my shoulders.
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