Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Rainy oysters

As usual, I called Mom from work yesterday to check on her. The conversation was pretty typical for awhile until she starting crying and being upset. My brother had not come over to help her with her garbage. Something happened between them and he told her that he was never coming back to see her. I think it may have been his response when she told him that she couldn't help him financially anymore. I tried to calm her by telling her that this had happened before and eventually he would show up again.

The fallout for me was having to go over there and take her to dinner at a local fish and oyster restaurant. We had a table looking out towards a rainy and overcast downtwon Seattle. She had her favorite, which is oysters. She told me later that they were not very good. After dinner we took her home and Pamela took out her garbage.

I have to say, my brother has not really helped much while I have been on crutches. He is having some trouble at work...I think they are trying to eliminate all the meter readers for the city..but that is really no excuse. He is all about his own needs it seems. He certainly shows up when there is a check waiting for him.

I told Mom during the evening that she needed to stop taking it out on me when she and my brother have a problem. She was kind of cranky and inappropriate at different points in the evening. So...not only do I have to step in and take over caring for her, I have to deal with the fallout of their dysfunctional relationship. I am sure there is some kind of useful learning here..but it is hard to grasp in the moment.

I am so grateful that Pamela is willing to help...otherwise, I don't know what I would do.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Mom is having a hard time understanding that I am not available to her right now. I am in a surgical boot, on crutches and cannot bear more than 20 lbs of weight on my foot. She asked me three times this afternoon to take her to the bank. I offered to take her check to the bank since I am on her account, but she would not agree to that at all.

I kept trying to explain to her that I cannot help her in and out of the car. She says she understands and then turns around and asks me again to take her to the bank.

I have told her again and again that Mark, my brother, will have to do more while I am recovering. She prefers to have me take her places. I have no idea what it is like with the two of them out in the world. I know he won't go out of his way to help her. Pamela and I have already had to go shopping for her twice.

I am trying to be patient, but today she just got the best of me. I sent Mark an email telling him to take her to the bank. That is all I can do today.