Life goes on

I made it through my first Thanksgiving without Mom or Dad.  I visited the grave the night before the holiday.  I always clean the gravestone and arrange the flowers.  I talk with them and let them know that I love and miss them.  It feels like all I can do now.

I feel kind of hollow and flat these days.  This is normal and will eventually pass.

In the meantime, we have been dealing with major plumbing issues for a week.  Last Monday, the utility room flooded sending water out into the basement and soaking the carpet.  The plumber came and tried to clear the drains Wednesday night...but gave up at 11pm.   By Friday morning we had even more water in the basement.  A whole crew showed up and pumped out the basement.  They also dug a hole the size of a gravesite in the front yard trying to get to the plumbing.  They are still not sure where the source of the problem is in the system.  It has been a rough week.

This rug and a lot of our belongings were soaked!

Mom and Dad are finally together again.  I saw the stone for the first time today.  I talked to Mom and Dad....I cried.  I felt more alone than I ever have in my life.  I am sure this is a normal part of grieving....but it seems more final now that they are both gone.  I miss them so.

October 15, 2012

BURIAL SERVICE FOR GENEVIEVE E. and  ROBERT T. CORLISS
OCTOBER 15, 2012

10:00AM

Forest Lawn Cemetery
Seattle, WA

Revelation 14:13

I heard a voice from heaven say, Write this: Blessed are the dead who die

in the Lord from now on. Yes, said the Spirit, let them find rest from their

labors, for their works accompany them.

BELL CEREMONY

Dad and Mom, with the ringing of this bell, we bid you safe journey.

BLESSING

May the wind be always at your backs.
May the sun shine warm upon your faces,
And the rains fall soft upon your fields.
Until we meet again,
May God hold you both in the palm of His Hand.

COMMITTAL OF ASHES

In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God: Robert T. and Genevieve E. Corliss.   We commit them to the ground; earth to earth; ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless them and keep them, the Lord maketh his face to shine upon them and be gracious unto them and give them peace.  Amen.

Having committed Robert and Genevieve’s Spirits to eternal rest, we thank them for all they have given to us in their long and loving lives.  What good they have shown us, we will show to others.

Dad and Mom, we release you now to the next part of your spiritual journey as you walk hand in hand with your Creator. All those who have gone before you are lighting your way."  

Dad and Mom, with the ringing of this bell, we bid you safe journey.  Amen.

Ringing of the Tibetan Bell


Celebrant:  Bonita Corliss  Witness:  Pamela Wilkins

Genevieve E. Corliss

                                                                                            Mom on October 1, 2012

Genevieve Eleanor Corliss was born in Danville, Illinois on March 1, 1920 and passed away on October 3, 2012 in Burien, WA at the age of 92. 

 

Mom grew up during the Roaring Twenties and the Great Depression. As a young woman she joined the Women’s Auxiliary Army Corp during World War II.  She served as a telephone operator.  She returned to Seattle and continued to work for the telephone company.  In 1946 she met Robert T. Corliss and they married in August 1947.  In the years that followed they had two children, Mark and Bonita.

Mom was always up to try something new.  As a family we skied, ice skated and played tennis.  Mom and Dad both loved golf, which they played for many years.  They were both accomplished “hole in one” golfers during their years of retirement in Arizona.  They lived there for 28 years, but always found time to come back to Seattle to visit many times over the years.

With Dad’s passing in June 2007, Mom lost her companion and friend of 60 years.  She adjusted to living full time in Seattle and spent many happy hours with her daughter Bonita shopping, going to lunch, and enjoying the scenery on long car rides.  She always enjoyed holiday celebrations with Bonita and Pamela and in 2010; their daughter Haven joined the fun.

Mom struggled with ill health in the last years of her life, but proved to be a strong and determined person.  She lived her life the way she chose to live it.  One example of her determination occurred in early May 2011 when she was recuperating from a broken hip.  She decided that she wanted to go home before her release date.  She escaped from the facility and took a cab home!  Mom could be a force of nature!

She was preceded in death by her father Clifton, Mother Carolyn, sisters Helen and Juanita, and her husband Robert T. Corliss.  She is survived by her son Mark (Sharon), daughter Bonita (Pamela) and four grandchildren, Danny, Josh, Lizzie and Haven.

The family would like to thank her caregivers at Highline Hospice, Scott, Rosie and Sharon.  The family would also like to thank all the staff at Burien Nursing and Rehabilitation and Dr. Buttitta.  They provided Mom with the best of care over the last several months of Mom’s life.

Mom always said "I love you so" as I left the nursing home.  I loved her as much as she loved me and I will always be grateful that she was my Mom.

At her request, there will be no service.  Cremation took place on October 12, 2012.  Now Genevieve and Robert will be buried together on October 15, 2012 at Forest Lawn Cemetery in West Seattle, WA.  Mom and Dad can finally rest in peace next to her mother, Carolyn L. Marion.   

God bless them all. 

Mom passes

                                                              Genevieve Eleanor Corliss
                                                         March 1, 1920 - October 3, 2012

Mom died sometime between 10pm and 11:30pm last night at a local nursing home.  She was seriously ill with end stage congestive heart failure.  I spent part of the evening with her, until about 9pm.  She seemed hot, so I washed her face, hands and arms with a cool cloth.  I watched her breathe and felt so bad that it had come to this for her.

The good news is that she is no longer in pain, no longer unhappy, no longer missing my Dad.  I will write more later, but this is all I can do right now.  I am so tired, I just need to go to bed.

Morphine

Mom is on morphine every hour as needed.  Her cough from the Congestive Heart Failure is really terrible.  Mom is now in bed all the time and is dosed with liquid morphine every hour.  This is to keep her comfortable.

She lays in bed and tries to get out.  She moans a bit and picks at her gown.  They have her moored inside a pillow barrier to keep her safe.  Mats are on either side of her bed in case she does manage to get out and then fall.  She opens her eyes a bit, but mostly seems out of it.  I sit and hold her hand, or wipe her face.  I tell her I love her.  I see her twice a day and always leave the nursing home drained and exhausted.

She seems a little agitated despite the Atavan.  She has eaten nothing since Monday.  Her breathing is labored.  I have no idea when she will die, but I am sure that this is the final stage.  I wish I could see her smile just once more...but it seems that Mom is not going to reappear.

This is a photo I took of Mom on Monday.   I had come out to the nursing home to fill out the Hospice paperwork.  She wanted to go to a musical event that was happening that day in the dining room.  It was an accordion concert for Octoberfest.  The activities staff served German Chocolate cake, sausage and sauerkraut and Martinelli's cider.  Mom tried to eat a little bit of the cake and sausage...but mostly left her plate full.  She did drink a little Martinelli's.  I am glad I have one final photo of her smiling.

Genevieve Eleanor Corliss.....we are on our final journey together...and already I miss you.

A Transition

This is a photo of Mom last Christmas.  So much has changed since then.

We are in a transition with Mom's health.  The congestive heart failure now seems to be causing her health to decline rapidly.  She is weak, does not feel well, has a bad cough, and back pain.

When I arrived at the nursing home on Thursday night Mom had completely lost her voice.  She had a deep cough and was having trouble breathing.  She would not eat her dinner.  She said she did not feel good and just wanted to go to bed.  I had brought her a chocolate milkshake, so she agreed to take a few sips of that, but could not even drink half of it.  Her back was hurting so I got the nurse to give her a Tylenol.

Later in the evening, I had this nagging feeling that I should return to check on her.  She woke up when I arrived and seemed to be coughing and breathing in a labored manner.  The nurse showed up and asked her if she wanted oxygen.  As expected, Mom refused.  She looked at me and said she would be better by morning.  She told me she loved me.  I told her the same...and left feeling overwhelmed and sad.  It is so hard to see someone you love slowing moving in the direction of dying.

I talked with the Hospice folks by phone on Thursday and they agreed to evaluate Mom on Friday during their visit to see someone else.  The hospice nurse and the facility agreed that she would need to go back on hospice care once her doctor writes the order.  She will get visits from a nurse, some volunteers will visit her, she will get an extra bath.  Small comforts....

I visited Friday after work.  Mom was asleep in her room.  I took her to the dining room, but she refused to even consider eating.  I took her back to her room and left her sitting by her bed.  I did not have the energy to get her ready for bed, so I left before she started taking off of clothes.  I told her I would be back sometime Saturday.

I showed up for breakfast on Saturday morning.  Mom was dressed and ready to eat.  She did much better this morning and ate most of her meal.  She wanted to go back to her room afterwards, so I took her there and changed her shirt and sweater.  I hate to see her sitting around in food stained clothes.

I will be there for breakfast tomorrow morning.  I feel I need to keep in close touch.  It feels like her situation is very precarious....and that she could go at any time.  My therapist asked how I feel about all of this.  I feel sad.  Mom is my last close link to Dad.  She and I have been through a lot in the last 58 years.  Not all of it has been great...but she has done her best.  I appreciate that she is a strong character.  I hope she is able to go quietly and peacefully.  She has lost her ability to fight the situation.  Her body is failing but she keeps saying one thing over and over to me:

"I love you so...I love you so...I love you so."   Sometimes she included my Dad and my brother in her litany.  It is heartbreaking.

I always hold her hand and kiss her on her lips or her forehead and tell her that I love her too.

I love you too Mom..with all your contradictions.