Father's Day 2008

Father's Day

This is my first Father's Day without Dad. I woke up thinking that this time last year, Dad had 9 more days to live. I think of him, there in the nursing home, and wonder how I got through those tough days. I think his attitude helped me...as it always had throughout my life. He was pragmatic...and calm about his condition and his eventual death. He kept saying "No one has come back complaining". He never really complained about his pain...except when it was hard for him to sit comfortably. I think the tumors moved into his spine. He wasn't on liquid morphine until the last two days. He talked less, but still did pretty well when it came to eating. Then he was gone. Seeing him that Sunday afternoon that he died was a strange experience...but I felt no fear or caution around him. He had helped prepare me for that moment...and when it came, I felt compelled to trim his mustache...to do one more thing for him.

We had many happy Father's Days...always a card and a good conversation. I found a card that I gave him that expresses a lot of what I feel about my Dad...here is what it says:

Thank you for letting me know I could always count on you, that you believed in me, and you'd stand by me, no matter what.

Thank you for encouraging the dreamer in me, for loving me through each and every fad and phase, and for accepting my ideas when they are different from your own...

Thank you for having faith during the times when I had to do it on my own, and for being there when things didn't work out exactly how I thought they would. Thank you for all that you are-my wonderful, wise and loving Father.

So, Happy Father's Day, Dad. I am so grateful that you were and continue to be my Dad.

love,
Bonita