I have been up since 6:15am. I love the quiet of the morning. I feed the dogs, let them out and then they go back to bed. North, our cat, runs around the house as fast as he can and then he settles down somewhere. I read my email, look at the local newspaper online, and just enjoy being the only one awake in the house.
I am going to church this morning and then to Mom's apartment. She has had a tough time for the last two days. She is so lonely, but so resistant to being with anyone but me, Pamela and my brother. I am losing patience with her. I know she would do better if she was in assisted living....even if she does look at it as being "supervised" living. The fact of the matter is that she could benefit from a little supervision.
I am looking at an apartment closer to our house. She wants to leave the apartment she is in because she doesn't like looking at the balconies at the apartment next door. People store a lot of stuff on their balconies and she finds it "ugly". I am ok with moving her closer...it will save me time and gas usage. I am not willing to keep moving her every year as my Dad did the first 10 years they lived in Arizona..or the last two years they lived there after they sold their condo. Mom always thinks the grass is greener somewhere else...when in fact it is the same damn grass! I think part of her personality disorder feeds into this need to keep moving. I am willing to do one more move for her..but after that..if she wants to move she will have to go into assisted living.
I am feeling worn out and impatient with Mom these days. She does nothing but complain...about her situation, missing Dad, not understanding his death...blah, blah, blah. She has been supportive of my new job which is great...but all the other stuff just wears me down.
I will go and take her to dinner today..she enjoys getting out of the house. Maybe church this morning will restore me a bit and give me the strength I need for this day.
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