Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A bad day, a good day

Sunday afternoon is my usual time to go out to Mom's and make her dinner. That went pretty well this past Sunday until after dinner. I was trying to put together a recycle receptacle out of one of those cloth shopping bags. No..that would not work...she wanted to "save" that bag...it was too nice to use for recycling. I admit, I lost my patience with her quirky ways and yelled at her. There I was on the kitchen floor on my knees yelling at an 88 year old woman over a recycling bag...completely ridiculous.

It was at this moment in time that Mom shared with me that I would be responsible for her heart attack and death because I yelled at her. I just sat there on the floor and told her that if she died from a heart attack it would be because her heart didn't function properly and she was not in good health.

After I got home I told Pamela about my latest round with Mom and she simply looked at me and said "She is an adult..she makes choices about the way she behaves." Easily said...but not so easy to deal with in reality. She is by virtue of her age an adult...but I have noticed more and more a child like quality to Mom. She will ask me what to do, waiting for my instructions...or she will just get lost in her thoughts and forget what she is talking about....like she is searching for a word or a thought that has just gotten away from her.

Last night was another "dinner at Mom's" night and it went a lot better. I told her that I have been short tempered lately because I am having a pretty tough time at work. We had a good talk and she listened to what I had to say. She wishes that she could help in some way, but doesn't know what to do to help me. There is nothing that she can do but try and listen and understand the other pressures that I am under in my life. She wishes that she was not in Seattle..but there is no way she could be in Arizona without Dad. It is a tough situation for all of us. But at least last night went well for both of us.

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