I went out to take Mom for a haircut yesterday and just lost it with her. I had been doing alright with her inside her apartment. I finished drying her laundry after I went down to the office to recharge her laundry card. We sat and had some tea while I ate a little lunch. I had been working all morning to take down the outside and inside Christmas decorations at home..so hadn't had time to eat before arriving at Mom's by 2:30p.m.
So...everything was going fine...until we were in the lobby heading for my car outside. That is when she started in on me about not wanting to get into my car because of my Obama sticker. I am just fed up with her racism...it just made me so mad that I stood there and told her to get out of the car. I was not going to take her anywhere. She got increasingly agitated and just stayed in the car. Ok, so that wasn't going to work. Next, I told her I would drop her at the salon and go get her groceries for her while she got her hair done. NO....that wouldn''t work...she had to go to the grocery store. I slammed her car door and stomped around to the other side. I sat there looking at her and then told her that she was a manipulative bitch. By this time she was pretty quiet. I am so ashamed of my temper ...but she just does stuff that drives me out of my mind. Her need to control every aspect of what I do, think, say has been a constant irritant my entire life. My brother calls her the Great Puppet Master...and we are all her puppets.
When I got her to the salon she was upset because she didn't recognize anyone...for goodness sakes...it is a Supercuts...people work there 10 minutes and leave. It is never going to be the same person. It was going to be a 45 minute wait, which was too much for her....so we ended up going to the grocery store. Mom contends that she has to go to the store because I have this bad habit of buying her things she doesn't need. Sometimes I do buy her extra things...just trying to give her a change or trying to balance out all the sugar she eats. Oh, well..damned if I do, damned if I don't.
Once we left Safeway, I drove us to Big Lots because Mom needed a calendar. I got her a 4 in 1 calendar with a date book and a big and small calendar. It was a flower theme...but she couldn't recognize the flowers as the pictures were all macro shots. Oh, well...damned if I do, damned if I don't.
I drove her home, unpacked all her groceries and made her some dinner. She walked me to the door. I could tell she was still upset with me...but I was just too exhausted to even deal with her. I kissed her goodbye, walked out the door and got into my car. Today was not a good day for me as Mom's caregiver.
Damned if I do, damned if I don't.
No comments:
Post a Comment