I am here

We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise.....Emily Dickinson

"As we age, our parents become ours to protect and nurture as they once cared for us. As our roles reverse, as we find ourselves placed in the parental role of caretakers, many conflicting emotions may arise ranging from tenderness to anger and resentment. Despite our best intentions we may need to struggle for greater generoristy than we in fact feel. A burden seeming too great to bear can yet be born one day at a time. We have within us stores of patience and practicality, intuition and invention, all of which are called to play during difficult times. Not one of us is a saint, and yet we carry within our hearts the strength of ages. As we seek spiritual support and guidance, we find our actions tempered by humor and humilitiy. The heart expands to love those we love as they need now to be loved."

Transitions: Prayers and declarations for a changing life by Julia Cameron.

A friend who is also a caregiver sent me this. I opened the envelope and read this excerpt with a knowing heart and mind. It was like reading one of those maps in a mall...You are Here...with a big X on the spot. I am definitely here and have known all the emotions mentioned above.

Thankfully, I have been able to pull back some from my own stress and be more patient and loving with Mom recently. We have talked and laughed. I have prompted her to tell me stories of her life with Dad. We always cry at some point, but we laugh too. I leave these encounters with a little more confidence in my ability to take care of Mom in her final years. For that I am thankful.