From bad to worse

Mom has been difficult all day. She was pretty crabby when I dropped by to sit with her at breakfast this morning. Mark sent me a text telling me that she asked him to take her home. He asked her to come to her room to have a conversation in private and she refused to go. He turned and walked out of the facility. I got a call from her on my cell this afternoon. She was demanding that I come get her and take her home. I refused and told her she needed to be where she was...that it wasn't safe for her to come home.

When I got to the facility this evening, she was sitting by the elevators with her satchel in her lap. When she saw me she waved and smiled. She told me that I had to take her home. I tried to reason with her...I tried distracting her by asking if she had had her hair shampooed and cut today. Nothing worked.

I had a conversation with two of the employees...her nurse and the care coordinator. They told me that she was refusing to eat and would not take her medication. Their big concern was that refusing the antibiotics would put her in a dangerous position with the increased coughing and the pneumonia. I pleaded with her to eat something, take her antibiotics and then get some sleep. She refused again.

While I was talking to her doctor on the phone, she managed to move over to the wall in her wheelchair, get up and then stand holding onto the railing. Three employees where standing around her for safety. The doctor and I agreed that she needed to stay put and that the best strategy was just to wait her out in hopes that she would eventually get tired and hungry.

The nurses asked me what to do about the antibiotics. I told them not to force them on her...just to let her be. She was begging me to take her to her home while I walked down the hall to the exit. It was one of the worst days I have ever had with Mom. I can only hope that tomorrow she is in a better frame of mind.

I know that I am going to stay away for a day and see if that doesn't help a bit. I think it may cause her to think about going back to her place when she sees me. Looking at her tonight, trying to reason with her.....my heart was just breaking. Why does she have to make everything so hard for herself and for those who are closest to her? I am sure I will never know.