Tuesday night dinner

I drove out to Mom's apartment for our usual Tuesday night dinner. She was sitting in her living room reading the paper when I arrived. I stood and watched her for a minute before she realized that I was there. As I started to fix the dinner she told me what she wanted. She had fixed a macaroni salad that needed the green onions I had picked up at the store. I was planning on making a BLT with the tomato and lettuce that I had picked up. Mom didn't want one...she said it is hard for her to eat bread and digest it unless it is just a piece of toast. I made her a green salad, some macaroni salad and a half ear of corn smothered in butter.

Once we were eating, she told me that my brother had come over for lunch earlier and yelled at her. She had called his house and talked to Lizzie. Mark does not want her to call his house at all. Something about waking Danny up..he is working nights at a restaurant. She was obviously upset and fearful of my brother while this was going on. I offered to talk to Mark, but she doesn't want him to stop coming to see her. It breaks my heart that she is willing to put up with this abuse just to see him a few minutes every week. It is their relationship and I have to detach from it.

Mom is having a hard week. This Friday, August 8th, would have been my parent's 61st wedding anniversary. She was pretty upset and said that my Dad was her life. So, does this mean she feels there is no life for her now? She said that she wasn't too hard to deal with as if it were a question. I told her that she had her moments just like everyone else. I hugged and kissed her and walked out the door....

Almost every time I see Mom these days, I come away emotionally exhausted. The one new agreement we have that will help a little is the abandonment of the morning check in phone call. It turns out that she worries about it...rushes to bathe and eat her breakfast in time for the 7:30am call. We renegotiated and have decided I will call after work rather than twice a day. A bit of respite...I will take what I can get.