Thursday, November 6, 2008

Quiche anyone?


I got up early today to make a quiche to take to Mom for our breakfast this morning. I arrived at her apartment a half hour late after fighting rain and heavy traffic across the city.

She was happy to see me and hungry. I served her a good sized piece and poured her some hot coffee. Bacon went into the microwave because she already had it ready to cook. I served up my plate and joined her as she finished her quiche in record time. We talked and ate and drank our coffee...everything was going well this morning.

She had me look at her latest medical bill from her eye specialist. I explained it to her and told her which of the amounts she was responsible for this time around. After that, she switched gears on me and began to tell me about a black bag she had set out in her bedroom that she wanted me to know about....it contains all her papers and her will. She wanted me to know about it and work the lock. She wanted to be sure that I knew where all her important papers and her will could be found...if she was to fall ill or die.

Mom talks a lot about her death these days...almost every time I see her she talks about it like it is just around the corner. I have grown used to this and do not get as upset as I used to about the topic. She got pretty emotional this morning about missing Dad...that he was waiting for her and that she wants to join him sooner rather than later. Her biggest fear seems to be that she will live to be 93 like her sister who passed away a year ago. She sees living that long as a burden...to herself and to my brother and I.

I called Mark and told him I was leaving...he was on his way over to have lunch with Mom. We are ships passing each other on the sea of Mom. The first shift leaves...the second shift comes on deck. We are doing all that we can to help Mom.

I gave her a long hug and a kiss and held her for a moment before I left. I am the only person who really has a lot of physical contact with Mom. I can tell she needs it because she leans into me each time I wrap her in a hug.

I sat in my car for a minute before leaving trying to regain my sense of calm...I never know what tomorrow will bring..but at least for today, Mom had a nice homemade breakfast and a chance to pass along the information that her life's documents are contained in a black case.

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