"You have your Dad's hands"

"You have your Dad's hands". That is what Mom said to me on the way home from a great Thanksgiving dinner at our house. I was holding her hand as we drove through the darkened city...on Highway 99. As we passed Evergreen Washelli Cemetary that is what she said. I thought about that statement as we continued on...me thinking about what Dad's hands looked like and then knowing that I have inheritated both those hands of his and his ability to be compassionate. Mom is having such a tough time...she told me again as I hugged her goodbye tonight that she hoped her life wasn't going to last much longer...that her heart flutters. I can see that she wants to die and is afraid to die all at the same time.

As I drove home to my warm and bright house...I was both grateful that I love my life, my partner, my friends...Cathy and Robin...all waiting for my return. I regret that in my Mom's life there is only the memory of my Dad...her silent lunches with my brother, and whatever pleasures that Pamela and I can bring to her.

Sunday, Pamela is taking Mom to Northgate Mall for some Christmas shopping. I will meet them for lunch after church.

So, we begin the holiday rituals again. Thanksgiving dinner...where Mom ate a little of everything this year....then onto Christmas.