Today is the three anniversary of Dad's death. Mom has been very upset about this for the last two days. This morning I called her and found her sobbing again. She begged me to bring a photo of Dad over to her. Of course, I was on my way out to do my errands, so I told her I would bring her a photo later in the day.
It was almost 6pm by the time I got to her apartment. When I gave her the photo the first thing she said was "You only brought one?" Always one to be critical. I told her how great it would be if she could say something like "Thank you so much for taking the time to bring me this photo". Oh well, that is just the way she has always been...and mostly likely will always be during her lifetime.
We sat and talked and looked at the photo. She said over and over that she just doesn't understand. Her loss is palpable. The sobs and lack of understanding are all signs of deep grief. To Mom, it is like Dad just died. That is how raw the wound is for her.
I wish she could be in a better situation...but like most difficult people, she has fought me every time I have tried to move her into an assisted living facility. Now she sits, day after day in her apartment counting planes as they take off and land at the airport. It breaks my heart, but the doesn't seem to anything I can do to improve her situation.
Next Monday I am taking her to the bank, the grocery store and to lunch. As I left I hugged Mom and she said she was looking forward to Monday..that it would be "our day". One more indication of how she is struggling with the new circumstances in my life.
For more details, go to my other blog at : http://ourpathtomotherhood.blogspot.com
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