Two markers this week....Dad has been gone 44 days today. Tomorrow would have been my parent's 60th anniversary. Mom doesn't count the 22 years they were divorced...because they spent so much time together during that time. The first 10 years apart were here in Seattle. I can remember Dad and I going to Mom's apartment for lunches, dinners etc. He also took her shopping and looked in on her on a regular basis. I asked him once why he did all this and he said it was because she was the Mother of his children. For the second 12 years they were divorced, they lived together in Phoenix, Arizona after Dad retired.
Mom is having a hard time with this anniversary. She called the house last night at 10pm thinking it was 10am today. She was worried that she would be late for her doctor's appt. Pamela took the call and reassurred Mom that it was still the night before her appt. I don't really know if this is just grief and depression or whether her cognitive skills are getting bad. I will try to talk to the doctor about it today.
I had a realization yesterday while I was driving. I realized that Dad is free of all his earthly cares and worries. It made me feel happy for him...especially since he didn't have an easy life here on earth. I had this feeling of peace come over me when I thought about this...and felt like it was ok for Dad to be gone. I miss him terribly, wish I could talk to him every day, but I know that he is finally at peace. Before he died he told me the only thing he wanted to do as a spirit is watch over me. I am glad we had that conversation before he died. Maybe his spirit brought me that thought about him being free now.
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