I took a breather from Mom last Thursday. She called on Friday morning because she needed one of her medications ordered and picked up. She wanted to go to Bartell's to do that and too pick up some food items on sale. She acted as if nothing had happened on Wednesday. Ok...so I picked her up and took her to Bartell's. I have noticed that she does better in smaller stores like that instead of the bigger grocery stores. I let her wander up and down the food aisles while I got her prescription and picked up other items such as hand soap in other parts of the store. Afterwards, I drove us back to her place. She wanted me to stay for dinner. I helped her get everything upstairs, unpacked everything and made our dinner. So far so good. As I was getting ready to leave she told me she was sorry for what happened the other day. She said she was used to saying what was on her mind. I reminded her that there are things that she could just keep in her mind and not say out loud as they hurt other people. I also told her that Pamela had been good to her for almost 12 years and that I would not tolerate anything bad being said about her period. So I set some boundaries and she has been a a little better ever since. She is always just a little difficult...but at the present moment she isn't being totally toxic. It is kind of like dealing with an elderly 2 year old...no impulse control at all. I am not sure if this is a sign of senile dementia or not.
I started a Growing with Grief group through a local hospice organization on Thursday. I like the people and the two women who facilitate the group. I made a breakthrough of sorts during the season. I was able to verbalize how scary and isolating it is to be the primary caregiver for my Mom...especially while I am still grieving Dad's death. I will return to the group this Thursday.
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