Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage, against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas, The Collected Poems of Dylan Thomas 128 (1957).

Simone de Beauvoir, in her treatise on old age called La Veillesee,
concludes that "the manner in which a society behaves with its old
people unequivocally reveals the truth-often carefully masked-of its
principles and its ends.

Simone de Beauvoir, La Veillesse (Old Age)

I am up at 4:00am looking up information on civil commitment laws in Washington State. I woke up and just could not stop worrying about Mom as her situation deteriorates. She could end up being committed to a treatment facility if she keeps going down the path she is on now. The police have been to her rehab facility twice..once when she called and said she was being kept against her will, and once when she tried to escape. She is persistent in her desire to go home, but that is looking more and more unlikely.

All of this just breaks my heart. She is her own worst enemy it seems. I cannot convince her to cooperate with her treatment. Some days she will do her physical therapy and take her medications...other days she will not. When I called last night she was in her room stubbornly refusing to go to dinner. When the nurse told her I was on the phone her only answer was "I will deal with her later". She is in full on combative mode.

I am exhausted both physically and mentally with this situation. I won't be able to protect her anymore or mitigate whatever trouble she gets into now. I have power of attorney, but have limited contact due to the story she told the doctor about me shoving her down the stairs. Stairs that she admitted yesterday she did not even have in her apartment. She just keeps spinning out of control. The further she spins, the less control she has over her situation.