Monday, May 23, 2011

Feeling safe


Mom has been in her apartment since she broke out of the nursing facility on May 5, 2011. She does not seem to be doing well...but manages to teeter through each day.

Yesterday I went over in the morning and made her a good breakfast: biscuits and gravy, a fried egg, some cantaloupe and coffee. She ate everything and really seemed to enjoy her meal. I don't think she does as well when I am not there to cook for her and serve her.

Today, I stopped by after work and found that Mom was already in bed asleep at 4:30pm. The sink was full of dishes and the garbage needed to be taken out. I took care of all the housekeeping chores and then tried to rouse Mom. She was pretty asleep, but eventually came to enough to have a little water, two aspirins, a cup of coffee and a cookie.

I told her that she wasn't looking that good. She seemed dehydrated and lethargic. I told her I was concerned and that we might need to go to the hospital. She was adamant...no hospitals, no doctors. It is hard to see her dying by inches, but that is what she seems to want to do. When I asked her about her resistance she simply said that she feels safe in her apartment. I guess it is my job to let her live out her life in exactly the manner of her choosing. It is not easy for me to see her story unfolding in this way but I am doing my best to help her get by until she either passes away or something happens like another fall that would send her back to the hospital.

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