I did some serious retail therapy today. I bought a Bialetti espresso maker..the old kind...no bells, no whistles...but makes fantastic coffee. Also purchased two Le Creuset pans...a skillet and a stock pot. The blue of the pans matches the blue of our formica and glass tile back splash in the kitchen. The pans and coffee pot probably weighted over 20 lbs., but I lugged the bags several blocks to a restaurant and then finally back to the car. On the way to the car I treated myself to lunch at Le Picquet....falafel sandwich and a nice cool glass of Lillet Blanc with a long piece of orange zest draped over the glass of wine and ice cubes.
Sitting in the restaurant, looking out at people passing by...cars moving down the street, it occurred to me that I miss my Dad...but have no feelings of regret. I did all I could to help him during his illness. He and I were allies, friends, in each other''s corners throughout my entire life. My Dad didn't have many friends....I don't know if this was his choice, or just how things worked out because Mom has such a hard time with people. I was his friend and daughter from my moment of birth. We loved each other unconditionally. I thought I would be more of a mess after his death than I am. I miss him....I think about him.....but it is like he is with me all the time anyway. He said that as a spirit all he wanted to do was watch out over me...so I feel he left me physically...but not emotionally. He is still right there...in my corner, no matter what!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
So good to hear you are taking the time to care for yourself and enjoy the small pleasures of life. You are in a really good place right now. After my mom died it took me months to get to that place where regrets did not cloud my memories... Keep doing what you are doing and hold tight to the fact that your dad will always be with you.
Post a Comment