Friday, June 29, 2007

As I write this Dad's body is being cremated. The funeral home called to tell me that his cremation would take place this afternoon. I drove over to Blietz Funeral Home in Fremont on my way home from Mom's apartment to check to see if he had been cremated yet. The woman there told me that they had just put him in the chamber. It was approximately 3pm. I asked her how long it would take and when he would be delivered back to the funeral home in West Seattle. She said it would take about an hour and a half to perform the cremation and several more hours for his remains to cool. Most likely his remains will be coming back to West Seattle tomorrow sometime. I started to cry so she took me into the chapel and got me some tissues. I sat there for awhile talking to Dad and praying for his peaceful entry into the kingdom of God. I am having a really hard time with the fact that I will never see or talk to him again. He always made me feel that everything was going to be alright. I always felt he was on my side...that he loved me unconditionally. I know that this intense grief will pass...I have seen it pass for Pamela...but I have to agree with my friend Bea...who lost her mother suddenly last year...this is going to change me for the rest of my life.