Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The last two days have been a blur. I spent yesterday at Mom and Dad's waiting for the hospital bed to be delivered. Also met with his hospice nurse. These sound like simple things..but it took all day.

Got a call last night around 9:40pm from Mom. Dad was on the floor again having worked his way out of the hospital bed despite the side rails. I drove across town and got Dad up off the floor and into his chair. He told me that a guy in a bathrobe named Bill had been beside his bed. he also said he saw water on the ceiling. I listened and told him that there wasn't any water to worry about in the apartment. He said he wanted to go back to bed so I lifted him and moved him the few feet to the bed. Once I got him positioned I talked to Mom and told her to call 911 if he got out of the bed again.

I woke up this morning at 5:15am and called Mark. I asked him to go check in on them so I could get to work. On the way to work my phone rang again. Mom was upset because Dad was so restless. She was fearful that he would fall again and asked me to come over right away. I turned the car around, pulled into a parking lot and called the hospice nurse. I told her that I thought the home care was not going to work...she agreed that Mom could not handle him. I can't be there 24 hours a day....she called in a prescription for some meds to help with Dad's anxiety. She also told me that they would start calling around looking for a place that would be available for Dad.

When I got to the apartment Dad seemed kind of agitated. I talked to him and saw that he was pretty disoriented. I eventually moved him from his chair back to the bed. I told Mom that it was a good time for her to get some rest. She laid down on the sofa and went right to sleep. I was in communication with the hospice nurse and social worker all day. I also got the hospice meds out of the mailbox and gave Dad a Haldol and some liquid morphine. It took a couple of hours but he finally settled down and seemed to drift off to sleep.

I got a call from the hospice nurse. She had spoken to his oncologist about the posibility of admitting Dad the hospital. I had also spoken to his nurse. He refused to admit Dad. I asked the hospice nurse why...her answer floored me. She thought he didn't want to do the paperwork! I told her I had had a problem with this guy from the beginning when I spoke to him about my concerns regarding Dad staying at home. He agreed it was dangerous..not a good situation...but offered no alternatives. I am going to write the Polyclinic a letter and give the administrators a piece of my mind. This guy may be a scientist and a good diagnostician, but he is not a well rounded doctor. He should be caring for the whole patient.

The social worker called with the news that a place had been found around 2pm. Shortly thereafter the hospice nurse showed up to talk with Mom and I and assess Dad. After she left Mom and I got Dad's things together...undershirts, socks, underwear, toiletries, comb, brush, and bottles of pills.

The cabulance driver arrived right on schedule at 4pm. She informed me that the person who normally moved him would need to put him in the chair. It was up to me to make sure he got transferred to the chair that would take him to the safety and comfort of the nursing home. I got him in the chair..he was complaining that I was hurting him. I had to just block that out and do the best I could to move 120 lbs. of limp weight. We got him down the steps in the main lobby..fortunately the housekeeper came along and helped us. Once he was buckled in we took off...it was a short ride...the driver told me that Dad was smiling while they were driving.

We rolled him in and and took him to his room. They switched out the beds because Dad was prone to getting out of his...no rails on the bed...but it can be moved very close to the floor. I talked with the night nurse, explained his meds., etc. The night hospice nurse came in and we talked for a few minutes. I really liked her...enough to really talk about Dad and cry a little while we were standing over him.

I left and went back to Mom to tell her how the admission went...what the place was like...what his room was like etc. She was glad that I came over to talk with her and said that she felt numb. I told I felt the same way. I told her I would be back in the morning to meet with her and the social worker. We need to work out a longer term plan as this current situation is a 5 day respite stay.

Drove home, cleaned out the refrigerator, ate the great dinner Pamela prepared. Talked with my good friend Meredith in California...she is a great help...having gone through this with both of her parents. After I finished this entry I am heading to bed.

Dad is safe tonight...Mom is getting some sleep and hopefully I will too. It has been a day of mixed emotions...Dad is slipping away. All I can do for him now is make sure that he is safe and comfortable.

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